Tuesday, September 13, 2016

that's l i f e

i can't stand to be still
i don't like being quiet
being s t i l l
being content
there's something in me
that tells me i can't be free

yes, it doesn't make sense,
but i haven't learned to master it
these things have pros and cons
good and bad, black and white
i don't want to be alone, i want to know
i have to c h o o s e
life is all about c h o i c e s
 but i can't be s t i l l
i can't be content
these voices are telling me

he asked me where they were coming from
but honestly, i don't know
they were sneaky and they were one by one
they stole all the fun
and i didn't want to be around anyone at the time
hidden in my own corner
i wasn't ready for company
but he knew what was best for me and he wouldn't go away

in that moment i was learning
to be c o n t e n t
with what i can't change
with the unknowns
and the challenges
it was hard to see the silverlining then, but my time was coming
these thoughts were fleeting

what most people don't see
is that the worst trial in life
is sitting still
the hard part
is being content with n o t h i n g
when N O T H I N G is happening
it's hard to see the other side
the other side of relationships,
of heartbreaks
of l i f e
because all of it is hard

but we aren't here to know the unknowns
we aren't here to be s i l e n t
we are here to be c o n t e n t with who we are
to be content with  l i f e
when n o t h i n g is happening
when e v e r y t h i n g is happening
we are here to rise above the s i l e n t and a w k w a r d situations
to be c o n t e n t with what we said
with the mistakes and what we did wrong
because that's the growing and doing best at this thing called l i f e
that we're living
of course, when n o t h i n g is happening
but also when e v e r y t h i n g is happening

sincerely,
allie d.

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